I felt like a dying soldier.

7:00pm last night: Enjoyed homemade ice cream at a family party.
7:05pm last night: Felt heartburn coming on.
10:00pm last night: Called it a night early because of the intensity of the heartburn.
11:47pm last night: Woke up, tossing and turning, because of the increasing intensity of the heartburn.
1:38am this morning: Woke up with THE worst burning sensation in my chest and back. It felt like a charlie horse in my heart that would not go away.
2:00am: Woke up snoring husband to help me deal.
2:15am: Crying it hurt so bad.
2:30am: Called a dear neighbor and friend to come sleep in my bed and stay with the boys while Preston and I go to the ER.
2:33am: Dear friend arrives with pregnancy body pillow in tow (Preston asked, "What was she carrying?") and we head out for the hospital.
2:40am: Arrive at the ER. Announce I'm having chest pains. No waiting room for chest pains. I get seen right away.
2:50am: Demand I have the worst indigestion known to man, not a rare heart defect. ER Doc says, "I'm an ER Doc. I look for the worst in symptoms. You will be getting an EKG, a urine test, blood labs and good look over."
3:00am: I'm given an indigestion beverage ( a mix of Maalox and Lidocaine) that numbs my tongue and throat but not my chest and back. I continue to squirm in the bed in pain.
3:10am: Nurse-man is drawing my blood (4 vials of them) as I tell him, "Now I know why I would hate an epidural" (with slurred speech due to my numbing beverage that has failed to help my pain). He compliments me on my natural childbirth accomplishments and then tells me that his wife would love to go natural with their 3rd (she is pregnant). I offer him my services. He seems interested, but I'm sure he's wondering why he would want some lady who shows up to the ER in the middle of the night with ice cream indigestion demanding drugs to teach his wife how to give birth naturally.
3:20am: Still in pain. Preston and I find ourselves entertained by overhearing the nurses talk about food, haircuts, and recurrent ER patients at their station. We laugh as we observe my choice of ER wardrobe...a hideous, immodest gown, black PJ pants, white angle socks and Grandpa-looking, grey slip-ons. We are saddened to hear a toddler screaming at the top of his lungs in the curtain-contained room next to us.
3:30am: ER doc returns to report that everything came back completely normal. He says he feels like a failure for not diagnosing me with something. I say I feel like he's a failure because he can't get my pain to just subside so I can sleep. He gives me a referral for a GI Doc and offers morphine.
3:45am: Nurse-man gives me a dose of morphine through my IV. My head tingles. My pain disappears.
4:00am: I'm home. I don't dare wake up nice, pregnant friend who is snoring peacefully in my bed. I slip onto the couch, take note of my amazing, pain-free state (having a chest charlie horse for over 2 hours stinks!), and drift off.

Thank you hubby, dear pregnant friend, nurse-man and ER doc.  I am feeling much, much better now.
Do I dare eat ice cream ever again?