That monster baby has only 105 days left to grow inside (approximately), and I'm just not sure what I was thinking. Yes, I want more kids and am excited at the thought of another little Jessie/Preston combo, but, I'm just really starting to doubt myself. This morning I had Henry and his 2 friends here for preschool and out of nowhere I was feeling like I wasn't in control of the world around me. 3 toddlers were all demanding my attention by not sharing toys, shoving eachother and tattling. I would get one to sit and listen to me read a book and the other 2 would just walk away and begin wrestling. It was a bit crazy! I was feeling overwhelmed already, and then as soon as the other boys left, two different people called to ask me if I was ready for 2 kids!!!! Am I? I just can't fathom this crazy toddler I now have.....a full on stripper who loves to throw toys at people and now sleeps crappy because of nightmares.....combined with a helpless, innocent, demanding, dependent newborn. How do you guys do it? I know what you're all saying to yourselves right now, "Jessie....you will just have to change your lifestyle. You'll have to stay home more." So what does that mean?....I'm just visualizing me sitting on the couch, exposed, feeding a newborn with my other kid who just hit his terrible 2's running around and throwing toys at the both of us? Is that what "you'll just have to stay home more" means? Is that what I'm looking forward to?
This all sounds really negative, but it just hit me that life is going to be changing in so many ways in just over 100 days. I'm sure it will be filled with good stuff, bad stuff and everything in between. Henry is finally to an age where he can be babysat, isn't such a momma's boy, and is able to sleep and eat on his own for the most part, and now I'm back at square 1 with this new baby. Do I have the energy to do all of this again? I guess I better find it because there's no turning back now.
Just give me some inspiration!!!